


Adult Supervision

by Oneshot_bravo



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
Genre: Gremlin pretends it can write, complete and absolute crack, don't ask me what's up with wade's personality, trust me i know less than you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-18
Updated: 2020-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:00:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23197477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oneshot_bravo/pseuds/Oneshot_bravo
Summary: In which Tom has Wade keep an eye on Sonic for a while.
Comments: 6
Kudos: 133





	Adult Supervision

“Hey, Wade, do you mind keeping an eye on Sonic for a little while?” Both aforementioned cop and hedgehog turned towards Tom in surprise.

“What, why?” Sonic whined.

“Because a sewer backed up and the town plumber needs a hand.”

“Okay? Why can’t I come with you?” Sonic asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“You know how the house at the end of the street smells really bad?” Tom asked, mildly amused when Sonic unsubtly fought back a gag from the memory of it alone. “Yeah, we’ll have to dig up the source of that.”

“Yikes. Do you want a clothes pin for your nose or something?” The hedgehog offered.

“That only works in cartoons.” Tom replied. “But I’ll definitely be spending the rest of the day breathing outta my mouth.” He muttered under his breath before clearing his throat. “ _ Anyway _ . Wade?” The aforementioned man jolted to attention. “Your lunch break starts in a minute, right?”

“Yeah?”

“Make sure this spiky gremlin doesn't break any laws.”

Sonic gasped in mock offense. “I’ll have you know that I’m a perfectly  _ law-abiding _ spiky gremlin, Donut Lord.”

“Hmm, I’m pretty sure you're still quill-ty for some crimes.” Tom quipped with a grin.

Sonic’s face pulled back in utter disgust. “Leave.”

Tom chuckled, “Just, don’t get into too much trouble.” he said while ruffling the quills on Sonic’s head, and headed towards the door. “And try not to hedge _ hog _ the donuts-okay, okay I’m leaving!” The human laughed as Sonic threateningly held up a chair cushion.

With that, the door closed with a click behind Tom, leaving the remaining duo in awkward silence.

“Sooo…” Sonic started as he sat onto the work desk. “Lunch?”

Wade dumbly looked back before blinking. “Oh, right, lunch.” He got up and made his way to the break room with Sonic trailing after him. He pulled out a sandwich from the fridge before pausing.

“Wait, did you have lunch?” He asked.

Sonic shrugged and made an ‘I-don’t-know’ sound. “Do cookies count?”

“Probably not?” Wade said, shrugging back. “What do you generally like to eat?”

“Chili Dogs!” Sonic said without hesitation.

Wade perked up. “Oh, so you like spicy stuff too?”

Sonic tilted his head at the unfamiliar word. “What’s ‘spicy’?”

“Um, it’s, uh…” Wade snapped his finger as he tried to come up with an explanation (while idly wondering how Tom made it look so easy). “It’s when your food has like a bit of a kick to it.”

“Kick?”

Wade nodded. “Yeah, like, some heat.”

“Oh, okay. I mean I like hot food.” Sonic responded. Wade pursed his lips as his brain made a tangent on the topic.

“If you like spicy stuff, maybe we can try the fire noodle challenge.” He thought to himself out loud.

Sonic squinted at the man. “The fire whatnow?”

“Oh, uh, fire noodle challenge. It’s when you eat a bowl of the hottest instant ramen in Asia? Or was it the world? Anyway, it’s supposed to be really spicy.” Wade explained.

“‘Supposed to be’?” Sonic asked.

The human shrugged. “Haven’t tried it for myself yet. I always forget to buy it when I go out.”

“Well, in that case what are we waiting for? Let’s try it!” Sonic said, his eyes alight with the prospect of trying something new.

Wade blinked. “Wait, now? As in,  _ now _ now?”

“Uh, yeah.” Sonic sassily replied with a cocky grin. “Superspeed, remember? Just show me the target and I’ll have ‘em here in a flash.” He said, holding his fingers out like he was framing a picture.

“Welp, in that case, this is what the package looks like…” Sonic leaned over Wade’s arm as he pulled a picture up on his phone. “...and I’m pretty sure that there’s a small asian market at the edge of town that sells them. Oh, and before you go-” The human fumbled with his pockets before pulling out his wallet. “-take this.”

The hedgehog raised an eyebrow as he plucked the object from Wade’s hand. “What do I need this for?”

“It’s dangerous to go alone.” The cop replied with a bad impression of what Sonic assumed was a wise old mentor. Not that the hedgehog didn’t play along, sheathing the leather package into his quills like a knight would sheath his sword. “Also, stealing is illegal, and that’s no good.” Wade added as an afterthought.

“Alroighty den.” Sonic said in a terrible impression of a brooklyn accent. In two flashes of blue, he was holding two cups of instant noodles. “I gots da goods, boss.”

Wade solemnly nodded, before the duo broke out into snickers, then he opened the cups and started filling them with water.

“Geez, I’m getting flashbacks from college.” Wade noted.

“What’s college?”

“Way too expensive.” The cop replied with a groan. “I could’ve gone to so many concerts with that money.”

Sonic gave the man a sympathetic (if slightly confused) smile, before his attention was completely taken as the noodles were set in front of him.

In contrast to Sonic’s enthusiasm, Wade sniffed his cup with a generous amount of trepidation. “It doesn’t  _ smell _ too painful.” Was his hesitant evaluation and the hedgehog agreed. In unison, they dug in.

The first few bites were fine, and Sonic was about to tease the man for being paranoid. Then his mouth started to tingle. Then it started to  _ burn _ . Unwilling to forgo his pride and stop, he swallow the hellfire and  _ oh god it just got fifty times worse and now it’s in his throat aaaAAAAAA- _

His heart was in overdrive and his legs desperately itched to run away from whatever decided to make his tongue into its personal torch. He zipped out of the building and sprinted around the town.

On the other hand, Wade stumbled panting to the fridge while generally regretting the poor life decisions that lead to his current suffering. His ears ringing (whether it was from the capsaicin or the sonic boom he honestly couldn’t tell), he scrambled to open the fridge and grab a carton of milk. Taking a second to debate whether he should head for the door (screw it, too far away) he opened a window and shouted “Milk helps with the burning!”

Barely a millisecond later, a blue blur launched through the window and snatched away the carton (almost taking Wade’s arm off in the process). The hedgehog then proceeded to empty half of the carton onto his face. Wade shakily layed down onto the floor, and in a few moments, Sonic sat down next to him, milk carton still clutched in hand.

“I-” Sonic started, then paused as a choked cough forced its way out of his throat. “I hate you. So much. Right now.”

“Relatable.” Wade wheezed out between gasps. “Can-guh-can you pour some of that on my face?” The hedgehog silently complied, then set the now empty carton in the milk puddle on the floor.

For a moment they sat in companionable silence.

That slowly faded away as frantic footsteps got louder and louder, before an extremely frazzled Tom entered the room. “I was gone for  _ ten minutes _ !” He exclaimed. “How did  _ this- _ ” he gestured towards the duo. “-even happen?!”

“Completely legally.” Sonic quipped, causing Wade to snort, then cough as a little milk entered his nose.

Tom took a moment to bury his face into his hands and took a very deep breath. “I’m never leaving the both of you unsupervised  _ ever _ again.” He responded without separating his teeth even once.

“That’s fair.” Wade murmured, getting a short laugh out of Sonic and an  _ extremely _ long sigh out of Tom.


End file.
